Step in the Dark

It's hard to wait well, especially because in the short term, the most profound satisfaction in waiting is derived from doing it poorly (ie griping to your family, the mailman, the grocery bagger, and the cable repair guy about how miserably impatient you feel). But I think it would be worth learning to wait well - I say this hypothetically, I'm a lousy waiter - because so much of our lives is spent waiting . . . to meet The One, to marry The One, to get that guy/girl your married to get their act together, to have children, to get promoted, to feel a speck of joy, and, if we are lucky and survive all that waiting, to die. All through the years, we wait. Heaven is this - the arrival of all that, in our inmost being, we have waited for our entire lives, and never quite found.

At this particular moment in time, I am waiting to learn whether or not I was accepted to the Johns Hopkins MA Writing program. The tentative plan is to take one course per semester (fall, spring, summer) while still working until I can complete my master's degree. It would take three years, but hopefully I could avoid being in debt by doing it slowly. I've actually had some people advise me against entering such a program, but it's the only way I know to stab at the thing I love best to do, and someday want to do all the live long day. It's a step, even if it's just a step in the dark.